The Little King
With a Pimple on His Nose
By Kevin Haley
Once upon a
time there was a little king with a pimple on his nose. And he said "I am the
But some of the people said from the shadows, "You are only the
king because your father made you the king before he went fishing and was never
heard from again."
"No. I am the king," he said. "I can start
The little king started wars but never fought in them.
am the king because I talk to God every day," he added. "I am the king because
I wear pretty ties and give speeches."
The little king, a former drug
user, had, as even his enemies admitted, had cleaned up his public image but
the behavior remained. What he didn't tell his followers (now limited to fairy
tale believers and people profiting from his reign) was that he was now growing
another pimple...this one on his posterior.
"I am the king and I will
appoint like-minded people to positions of all but eternal power.
the king and I will not relinquish power!" he shouted, the pimple growing
larger each day.
"I am the king and I will make fortunes on the backs
of the poor, who are just in the way anyhow. I am the king and I will trade my
nation's dignity for arrogance and ignorance."
Then the first pimple
began to grow so that all the people laughed when he spoke.
at breakfast it was clear that the little king was quite uncomfortable and was
having trouble sitting down. The nose pimple was now covering his face and the
posterior pimple was becoming too much to hide. They grew and grew until soon
they grew into one massive pimple and the little king exploded.
the king!" were his last words.