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BUSH BROTHERS
VOLUNTEER FOR IRAQ
By Kashmir Horseshoe
(Crawford TX) The Bush brothers today shocked
supporters by announcing that they had volunteered for active military duty in
Iraq. The three, George, Jeb and Neil, calling themselves the Three Musketeers,
will report for a physical this week and continue on to basic training later
this month.
Aides expressed hope that the decision would not interrupt
the private lives and destroy the financial credit of the Bushes like it has
many National Guard personnel currently serving in the Mideast. The brothers,
who are now employed as President of the United States, Governor of Florida and
free-lance savings and loan consultant respectively, say they must "set a
positive example and further embrace the Bush Agenda by taking up arms against
terrorists across the sea."
"We hope they can serve together in the
Chicken Hawk battalion, (a political cadre), which is expected to see "serious
service" over the next few months," confided a close aide.
"We're off
to glory," said Jeb. "You can do fine without us for a while."
Critics
see the move as grandstanding in the face of poor recruitment figures and an
attempt to encourage colleagues to follow suit, yet at present no one from the
Republican Congress has offered to follow the three into the fray.
Back
in September the President called on supporters of the war to sign up for duty.
Saying that wealthier inductees would probably be commissioned as officers
anyway, Bush reiterated his stance of no pull-out and a more aggressive policy
toward insurgents all over the world.
"The people benefiting from our
attack on Iraq should be in the front lines fighting for their freedom," said
the Chief Executive. "We hope that this show of selfless determination on our
part will send a message to our friends, quiet our detractors and maybe even
rescue the concept of a volunteer army in the future."
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