Rodney and the Queen

(Disclaimer: this is NOT in any way a coded message about bombing the Palace. In fact, Roddy, a.k.a. "Rodney" when his mates want to annoy him, merely ate too much compost and had not prepared to do this with malice aforethought. The facts of this story are true as related by Roddy himself.)

As reported by the LocoFotives,
a true tale of Gleneagles
G8 Summit July 2005

Rodney was a Highland rebel
from Scotland's boggy north,
so when the Queen invited,
Rodney boldly sallied forth.

[Not this Rodney!]


He wished to make a statement
not just for the Royal Ear,
but one of great importance
for all the world to hear.



In Gleneagles it did happen
during the G8 Summit there,
at a formal Royal banquet
hosted by the Royal Pair.

[Gleneagles Hotel]

Rodney and his wife were seated
at the very table with the Queen,
the Duke of Edinburgh,
and Blair and Bush and Mr. Bean.


[Mr. Bush discoursing with the Queen]


After the soup was eaten
and all had cheered the Queen,
Rodney delivered his statement
in shades of brown and green.

[The soup was delicious!]


His "phooot!" ripped like thunder
and flipped his kilt up high,
causing all to wonder
who let the rude gas fly.






There was an awkward moment
when silence gripped the room
and a ghastly noxious odor
made the Queen nearly swoon.




Rodney refused to confess it
hoping either Bush or Blair
would gain the Queen's disfavor
for his release of deadly air.



The Royal Eye went searching
all around the place
till at last it came to rest
on her Duke's horsy face.



Her Royal Eyebrow raised
in glaring accusation,
and the Duke of Edinburgh
looked guilty before the nation.



This was Rodney's moment —
from royalty he'd won it,
and not a word did he utter,
tho' his wife knew he'd done it.



The Queen was not amused
as the deadly gas arose,
and the Duke shook his head,
but the odor curled his nose.



When the evil scent subsided
and the dinner guests departed,
Rodney's wife was livid,
kicking him where he'd farted.

“OUCH!!!!”

But Rodney was quite happy,
even proud of the noxious scene,
for he always will remember
the day he farted for the Queen.



— © LocoFotives 2005